Sticker Shock

Customer: What does "2 Day Rental" mean?

Me: It means that you can rent it for up to 2 days.

Customer: But what does that mean?

Me: I'm sorry I don't follow.

Customer: (to wife) SEE! That's the racket here. That's how they get you. (Points to "2 Day Rental" sticker.

Here, right here, what does that mean?!

Me: That says that you can have the rental for up to 2 nights. That is the base time period for the pricing. $3.85 in two day increments, or one day for $2.85. 

Customer: OH-HOHO So that's why we've gotten late fees. Because these are suppose to be back in 2 days? I don't think that its fair to charge someone late fees when it isn't clear how long the rentals are for. If I can have the rental for 1 night or 2 nights and the sticker says 2 days how am I suppose to know when I need to bring it back? And how was I suppose to know that they are only for 2 days and not longer? That sticker is misleading!

....And This Is A Movie? #1

There are a few movies around the store that from time to time I just look at and think to myself "someone made this into a movie." Today I'm bringing you the first of a new series "....And This Is A Movie?" and I assure you that these "films" are real.

Elf Bowling: The Movie

Yes, you read that correctly Elf Bowling: The Movie.Yes, a movie based on a Flash game, about bowling.....with Christmas elves as pins. There are few better ways to really express the amount of failure that as leaked into our world from this movie making it to store shelves, than to take a look at this customer review from Amazon. And remember, this is from a person who purchased the film (which runs about $0.01 in the used section).


"I bought this movie knowing that it was more than likely going to be a stinker. Even so I was still hugely disappointed. I didn't know it would be this pathetic. The movie had the thinnest of plots which was horribly conceived and executed. The animation was tolerable but by today's standards still on the low end. The movie might have been a bit more endurable if the elves and voices were more like the hilarious ones in the game. In the movie, other than being shorter than Santa and having pointy ears, there was nothing elf-like about the elves.

At the very least the makers of the DVD could have added as a bonus feature the original Elf Bowling game that the movie was "loosely" based on and the follow on game.

The makers of this movie should be made to walk the plank."

I find this review just sad. I actually feel bad for this person, but I can't help but wonder what the hell they were thinking.

"I bought this movie knowing that it was more than likely going to be a stinker."

Why buy a movie that you think is going to suck? Ok, your kids might like it and you might jus........wait this person doesn't mention buying this for their children or kids in general. You, as an adult, purchased a movie called "Elf Bowling: The Movie" for yourself. and you were "still hugely disappointed"?

 <sigh> Lets just move on.


"The movie had the thinnest of plots which was horribly conceived and executed. "


WHAT?! No shit it had the thinnest of plots. The source material is a web-based Flash game where you bowl over elves. Where you sitting there thinking to yourself "Pfft, I seriously doubt that the events of the film so far would lead to an elf-bowl."

"The movie might have been a bit more endurable if the elves and voices were more like the hilarious ones in the game."

Now I'm starting to have a problem with you Mr. Reviewer. It's one thing to criticize the voice-acting. That is a fair argument for the movie sucking. But you had to go on and say that you think the movie would have been better is the  "elves and voices were more like the hilarious ones in the game."Keyword here is "hilarious." You found the voices in the Flash game hilarious?
As in....

hi·lar·i·ous

 /hɪˈlɛəriəs, -ˈlær-, haɪ-/ Show Spelled[hi-lair-ee-uhs, -lar-, hahy-]

–adjective

1.

arousing great merriment; extremely funny: a hilarious story; a hilarious old movie.

Well there it is then. If you make a movie on a game (even a Flash game) that someone actually found hilarious, and they feel that they need to write a review (with there real name attached to it) that closes with "The makers of this movie should be made to walk the plank.", you have seriously failed.

You made a person, willing to spend money on your product, that found the source material hilarious, want you to drown. A person who writes reviews for DVDs of fireplace scenes! At the least the creators of Elf Bowling: The Movie should feel really bad for what they have done to this person, hell, all people. Elf Bowling may just be a sign of exactly what's wrong with entertainment today.

Argue With Me #1 "Three Dollars"

I felt like this kid from "Better Off Dead"

This transaction was going just fine until the computer had to announce to me that the customer had an outstanding balance on their account. That's when we went from logical and into the this "argument."

Me: Your account is showing a balance of $3.00
Them: Ummm...how is that possible? I return everything on time, always.
Me: Ok, it could be a mistake let me take a look. (tap tap tap) Ok looks like the movie was due on 7/14 and you returned it on the 23rd.
Them: Exactly, how the hell is that overdue?
Me: Well the movie was 9days over due. It was late.
Them: How so?
Me: Because it was returned 9 days after the day it was suppose to be back. Do you remember how long the rental period was for?
Them: Ya, 5 days.
Me: And five days after the 9th would be?
Them: I don't have a calander. How should I know.
Me: It would be the 14th.
Them: Well you can't expect people to remember when a movie is due back.
Me: Well there is a guide on the back that tells you when your movie is due.
Them: I can't use the guide on the back if I don't remember when I rented the movie.
Me: The number for the store is also on the front of the box, you could have called to ask.
Them: Well I didn't think to do that........So are you gonna let the fee go?



----------------
This just in!
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Them: Hey are these late?
Me: When were they do?
Them: Last week sometime.
Me: Ya, they're late.

Not Even Officially Up For 5 Minutes / Death on Date Night

A young woman comes in and looks around. She came up to me after awhile with a rental box for the movie Death At A Funeral(the bullshit version) and the display box for Date Night (which we have been rented out of all day). She places them both down on the counter and it begins...

Her: "I found this (Death@) behind this (Date). I was wondering if this is Date Night. 
Me: (I point to the Death At A Funeral Box(clearly labeled in 72pt Bold) "That is Death At A Funeral"
Her: "Ya it says that but I found it behind Date Night. Does that mean this is Date Night?
Me: "No that one is Death At A Funeral. Someone must have misplaced it"
Her:  (Struggling to open the locked rental box) "Are you Sure?"
Me: "Quite"
Her: "So you're out of Date Night"
Me: "Ya, sorry we have been out all day"
Her: "Cause this is Death At A Funeral?"
Me: "No, that was just misplaced, all the rental copies of Date Night are rented out."
Her: (Looks puzzled and walks away)

I really shouldn't have known there was gonna be an issue as soon as I saw her little hot pink shorts that said "Juicy" on the ass.