Issue #2 of Pathetic Attempts at Taglines and Subtitles is an action movie special. We have a classic, a cult favorite and 2 others I'm sure nobody could possibly care about.
Bullitt
Being a classic action flick starring Steve McQueen you would think some thought would have been put into which tagline they decided to use on the DVD release of Bullitt.
"There are bad cops and there are good cops and then there's Bullitt."
So, Bullitt is what? A mediocre cop? A variable cop? Chaotic Neutral? We have established he is neither good nor bad. But are we talking his actions or performance? Bullitt - Starring Steve McQueen as you average everyday cop. Watch has he performs his job relatively well and receives just compensation. The most benign 114min you will spend in the theater this summer!
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
Making fun of this movie is just too easy, and it's the better of the 2.
"Destroy All Expectations"
Yep, you sure did, and our expectations for video-game based movies has never been the same. Thanks MK: A for lowering the bar to a height that only Uwe Boll has been able to limbo under.
Ok, Mortal Kombat was bound to have a bad tagline. But I don't want you hear you crying foul on this one too cause it has Tom Sizemore. Yes, he's a bad B actor, yes his movies suck. But they can at least try to trick people into thinking its good by the cover.
"An Undercover Cop... On the Wrong Side Of The Law."
Well, NO SHIT! That is the entire point of having undercover cops, to send them to the wrong side of the law. How many undercover cop movies sound like this "One undercover cop who only plays by the rules is thrust into the lawful world of following the law. What happens when a cop from the right side of the tracks stays there?" Come on guys are you even trying? I wonder if their follow up work was something like "A boxer.....fighting in a ring" or perhaps they worked on this next one.
This had to be a project by the geniuses from Swindle. To think there is a guy sitting a room/cubicle/monkey habitat/port-a-john somewhere who actually draws a pay check for gems like...
"It's Either a Hit or a Miss."
I'd call it a miss. Just damn....that is right up there with Swindle isn't it? Not sure if you are referring to your movie(MISS!) or to the idea of a bullet. But I just have say der, duh, no shit Sherlock. I know for myself there is nothing more thrilling than the idea of a 50% chance. I love any movie that can give me such edge of my seat probability. WHAT?! Someone may or may not get shot in this film? What luck!I'm overly excited to see the outcome.
